2 Sunsets, 2 Moonrises, 3 Summits

I see it all the time.  Unless there is a goal, things are not hiked.  Not part of the AT, won’t hike it.  Not on the 4K list, why bother.  Snow, OMG too dangerous.  Not XYZ, not worth the time.  If that were the case, the Whites would be empty.  Not a bad thing sometimes, but people need to realize that is more than the destination, it is the journey.  And if you stop because a particular journey is over, why?  It is a big world out there.  You gotta experience it.

After the  Sunday Flu, I dragged myself back to Lyme, NH to visit Holt’s Ledges. Of course the blue sky vanished when I got there.  Rough little climb, and short on what I think of ledges.  Oh well, another mile down.  Still wish i went up to Orford to do some Cube/Hexacuba  Oh well, I got out.  And I have the weekend, two really.

I did go into work for a bit Wednesday (and lost my solar charger), then hit Wachusett.  Didn’t know the moon would be almost full, so on the way out, I decided to go back up.  Old Indian Trail i tough, but Harrington is rough and tough.  Great workout though.  Yup.  Summitted it twice.  And i saw two friends I had not seen in a while.  That was a very nice bonus.  I knew there was a reason I decided to go back.  I mean the sunset and moonrise were nice, but seeing friends is alway great.  I went down the road with no headlamp.  Ok a few places, i used it for a minute or two, but the moon was so bright.  I followed my familiar moonshadow, something I always enjoy when I do Wachusett.

Steep Old Indian, steep but good

Careful, a few herd paths here

Monadnock, lift, and a few communication towers

 

Maybe I should come back?

I blinked and it dropped

Monadnock again

Gina and I.  You never know who you will meet in the mountains.

I also realized, I need to get back in shape.  My lungs were not happy.  Allergies and that flu that refused to give up hurt me.  I am not going to ever be a speed demon and I will always huff and puff, but I see it like a badge of honor.  After everything the last last few years, I should be be happy I am able to hike.  It keeps me rooted and strong.  And I have been rewarded for the effort.  

The Harrington after I climbed down the Link  Summit #2

So Thursday, I had plans, big ones.  My body wanted rest, but I wanted out, so I looked for possibilities.  Then I heard that Prince died.  Another artist from the soundtrack of my youth gone.  Thanks 2016.  Finally decided on Gap Mountain.  Once I got over the confusion of 202 and 12, I was good to go.  It starts off all nice and easy, then, it goes up.  Steep, but no scrambling, and again, it is worth the effort.  And BAM, Monadnock is right in front of you.  As are the black flies who do not seem to know what DEET is. Again, I was treated to a sunset and moonrise.  Sunset was not as great because of the front coming in, but the moon was incredible.  I met a guy who said their was another, better view on another peak.  Adventure for another day.  

On the way down, I was treated to the best sound, peepers.  Loud peepers.  And I found a good pizza place.  Yes, I was hungry, but it was good.  Yeah, my body said it was a couch/blog day today.

As I was surfing today, I came across a post from Cheryl Strayed about Prince’s death.  Something I had been thinking about lately.  Before the bottom fell out of my barrel, I was well on my way to some sort of greatness.  I was going to finish my 48 in 2 years.  I was presenting at a conference.  I backpacked for the first time.  Things were good, not like before, but good.  The mountains were good.  I am just a fraction of that person who was still not my top self.  I had a brief glimpse of that person in the Pemi, but that was only 2 days and shortly extinguished.  I hate it.   And though things are hard and time/money is limited, I am going be Cheryl Strayed.  I am going to hike myself back to the person I know I am.  I am going to be that teacher I was in Ayer.  I am going to be the scholar I was at UNH.  I am going to be that hiker who did 6 high peaks in a week, the joyful person who stood atop S. Twin and Bondcliff the next day.  I am going to be the person I was in 2009/2010; full of hope and confidence.  I am going to hike all summer, complete a list or two, work on another.  Complete a few more  AT miles.  Maybe thru hike a few trails.  Whatever.  I just want to hike back to strong, confident self. Sometimes, when you are on fire, people will watch; some will throw gasoline on you.  You can either lie there and die or roll yourself back to life.  I choose to roll myself back to life.  And maybe Prince, Bowie, Glenn Frey, and Maurice White can provide me with a soundtrack back to that life.

I will be back and it will last more than 2 days

Soooo, this is long.

You shall not pass til I take a picture says Rachel.

Finished my NH48 in October.  Got my scroll last night...with a few hundred other people.  OK, not everyone came, but almost 900 people finished the 4K in time for award night.  It was awesome. I apologize for the fuzzy pics.  I will get a better phone at some point.  Some are pictures from friends which is why they look better.

Where else can you get a hug from Steve Smith?

Last night was not just about getting a certificate.  It was about being with friends.  Seeing people who meant something special along the journey.  I always say you see the important people when it matters.  It was also about meeting people you only knew through the interwebs.  

I found Renee!

And Rachel.  There was some scheming.

It is about making new friends.  This journey has brought so many new friends into my life.  Some stay, some are just there for a small part.  But they all mean something, they are there for a reason. 

And they are all cherished.

Some help you celebrate a milestone birthday. 

Some entertain you while another steals your lunch.

Not a 4K, but a section hike with some

Post sprain hike with some awesome people.  Thanks Mai for the photo.

Some more awesome people from Moosilauke.

Some friends waited for me to get back from hikes.

Some made sure I got down the mountain safely

Some have hiked many with me

Some inspire me

Some were never there (shh, they broke a few rules)

Some know how to party and still hike the next day

Some tolerate my crazy plans

You never know who you will meet on the most popular traverse.

Then there are those Spring Hiking Program hikes on Memorial Day

You will make many friends at Seek the Peak.

Lots of cool people on South Peak of Moosilauke.  There were more on the windy, foggy summit.

But the best is putting up a flag for those who perished on Sept. 11

Even when you are pelted with ice pellets.

But last night was also about the stories.  The oldest.  The youngest.  The ones who finished despite ridiculous obstacles.  Those who didn't get a chance to finish.  Those who finished, but passed before last night.  Those who got called up in every category.  It was everyone's night.  So many stories, they need a bigger venue.  If don't tear up at least once, you may not be human.  Yeah, some people come just to see the celebrities.  Some just pick up their awards and leave.  Beyond that is a world of hikers.  A strong, wonderful community.  A community I am proud to be a part of.  

OK, so I met a few celebrities. 

So here is my story.  My essay that accompanied my application:

It has been a very long journey.  Not so much in terms of years, but experiences.  You see, this journey has been my respite from life.   In a way, it has saved me.  I know so many other people are saved by the mountains, but doesn’t that speak to their healing power?  Before my last two peaks, I was ready to give up.  So much was happening in my life.  So many changes, challenges, setbacks.  And that was just in the last year. As much as I want to be in the mountains, life always finds a way to make me wait.  I wanted to finish in July, but that did not work, so I had to wait until October.  My 47th was the day of the supermoon eclipse.  I hiked down from a great trip (on Davis Path only) to Isolation by some moonlight.  Then I saw the eclipse from the Kancamagus.  I even saw my first bear early in the hike. It was a magical trip.  I was glad it was not my 48th because I wanted that one to be special on it’s own.  And it was.  Here’s where it gets cheesy.

Hiking is hard for me.  It has gotten much harder with the mounting pile of ridiculous stress I have been through.  I doubt I will get back to the machine I was in my first year, but I can still have the experience of the mountains.  That has to count for something.  I hike alone mostly because I am kind of embarrassed of my slowness.  I haven’t applied for full AMC leader yet because of it.  Cabot was my 48th.  Cheesy, I know.  Add in a cheesehead, and well you get the picture.  I was ALL ALONE.  I saw no one until some rangers drove by at about 3:30.  Luckily I stopped to take a picture because I left my poles at the trailhead and they gave them back to me.  I liked it.  It is really nice except for that 8-4 gate thing.  It was a great trip.   So there is my story of my 48th.  Nothing special.  Just a fun trip, goofy selfies.  But that is not the most special hike.  Not by a long shot.  Was it Jefferson, Lafayette, or even my first, Flume?  Nope.  It was Adams.  Let me explain.

This was my third ascent trying to summit Adams.  The first was an Adams/Madison attempt (well it was a 3 day Presi, damn World’s Worst Weather).  The clouds made me choose Madison when the skies cleared.  The second was a trip with a friend who could not continue just shy of the summit.  I was only about .25 from the summit, and my friend urged me to go anyway.  You do not leave friends behind, so we headed back.  I wanted to do it after Katadhin, but I ticked off Thoreau and was in a boot for 6 weeks.  It is not conducive to hiking.  My final actual attempt was in June 2015.  It was an emotional time. I was doubting my ability to do anything right.  I was a mess.  My life was a mess.  I really needed something to make me feel strong.  Even if only for a moment.  

I choose Airline.  It is hard, and steep, but the views are so worth the effort.  Apparently, there is a knife edge.  Never noticed it.  I only paid attention to God’s work all around me.  It was a bit harder than I remember, but I like it more than the ascent from Valley Way.  Aside from slowness, i also suffer from some digestive issues when ascending.  If I were in a fraternity, I would be the most popular because I can belch the alphabet.  I have scared friends who thought it was a bear.  Nope, just a guttural belch.  So I belched my way from the beginning of treeline to Gulfside.  Yeah, that last part to the summit, again, harder than I remembered.  And the Wolf Spiders.  My God, the Wolf Spiders.  Some low music, and determination, and it was done.   On try 3.  Adams.  The second highest of the 48.

I had just missed a friend, darn skirt repair.  Yes, I had to do a little sewing with a view.  I met some cool guys who helped me with a picture, then I took it all in.  It was, in fact, a perfect Presi day.  I could have used some wind as I was photobombed by several black flies.  I had to leave the joy of the summit.  I decided to go down Lowes Path.  A good decision as it is much nicer than Airline.  I headed down Gulfside, stopped by the hut, and headed home.  As I headed to the lot, it hit.  I did Adams.  I DID ADAMS.  A little dancing, maybe some singing. And then it hit me like a freight train.  That emotion only a hard hike creates.  A collection of feelings that only someone who allows their spirit to be open to the mountains can experience.  No matter what life at sea level throws you, it cannot erase that mountain emotion.  I could not help crying as I walked back to my car.  This trip was more special than I could ever imagine.  I can honestly say that it was much better than 47 or even 48.  Nothing can replace that feeling or those emotions.  Even the Semi Pemi falls far short of this experience.  I finally conquered Adams. It seems small, but I did it.

I am doing a presentation on hiking the 48 at the Trail Dames Summit.  Trail Dames is a great organization that helps empower all women to find meaning in the woods.  Because of them, I did my first backpack which made some of my trips possible.  I also found out that hiking is more than just a walk in the woods.  It is an door.  A door to a world where you can think clearly and feel true victory.  A door for you to test your limits and find out you are much stronger than you think.  A door that allows you to take chances but know when to quit.  A door to say you deserve this.  A door to give yourself a break.  I may be slow, but it is not about book time, FKT, or even sunset time.  It is me time.  A chance for me to grow and heal.  I have a lot of growing and healing to do.  And I am going to give myself time to do it.  However long it takes.