Soooo, this is long.

You shall not pass til I take a picture says Rachel.

Finished my NH48 in October.  Got my scroll last night...with a few hundred other people.  OK, not everyone came, but almost 900 people finished the 4K in time for award night.  It was awesome. I apologize for the fuzzy pics.  I will get a better phone at some point.  Some are pictures from friends which is why they look better.

Where else can you get a hug from Steve Smith?

Last night was not just about getting a certificate.  It was about being with friends.  Seeing people who meant something special along the journey.  I always say you see the important people when it matters.  It was also about meeting people you only knew through the interwebs.  

I found Renee!

And Rachel.  There was some scheming.

It is about making new friends.  This journey has brought so many new friends into my life.  Some stay, some are just there for a small part.  But they all mean something, they are there for a reason. 

And they are all cherished.

Some help you celebrate a milestone birthday. 

Some entertain you while another steals your lunch.

Not a 4K, but a section hike with some

Post sprain hike with some awesome people.  Thanks Mai for the photo.

Some more awesome people from Moosilauke.

Some friends waited for me to get back from hikes.

Some made sure I got down the mountain safely

Some have hiked many with me

Some inspire me

Some were never there (shh, they broke a few rules)

Some know how to party and still hike the next day

Some tolerate my crazy plans

You never know who you will meet on the most popular traverse.

Then there are those Spring Hiking Program hikes on Memorial Day

You will make many friends at Seek the Peak.

Lots of cool people on South Peak of Moosilauke.  There were more on the windy, foggy summit.

But the best is putting up a flag for those who perished on Sept. 11

Even when you are pelted with ice pellets.

But last night was also about the stories.  The oldest.  The youngest.  The ones who finished despite ridiculous obstacles.  Those who didn't get a chance to finish.  Those who finished, but passed before last night.  Those who got called up in every category.  It was everyone's night.  So many stories, they need a bigger venue.  If don't tear up at least once, you may not be human.  Yeah, some people come just to see the celebrities.  Some just pick up their awards and leave.  Beyond that is a world of hikers.  A strong, wonderful community.  A community I am proud to be a part of.  

OK, so I met a few celebrities. 

So here is my story.  My essay that accompanied my application:

It has been a very long journey.  Not so much in terms of years, but experiences.  You see, this journey has been my respite from life.   In a way, it has saved me.  I know so many other people are saved by the mountains, but doesn’t that speak to their healing power?  Before my last two peaks, I was ready to give up.  So much was happening in my life.  So many changes, challenges, setbacks.  And that was just in the last year. As much as I want to be in the mountains, life always finds a way to make me wait.  I wanted to finish in July, but that did not work, so I had to wait until October.  My 47th was the day of the supermoon eclipse.  I hiked down from a great trip (on Davis Path only) to Isolation by some moonlight.  Then I saw the eclipse from the Kancamagus.  I even saw my first bear early in the hike. It was a magical trip.  I was glad it was not my 48th because I wanted that one to be special on it’s own.  And it was.  Here’s where it gets cheesy.

Hiking is hard for me.  It has gotten much harder with the mounting pile of ridiculous stress I have been through.  I doubt I will get back to the machine I was in my first year, but I can still have the experience of the mountains.  That has to count for something.  I hike alone mostly because I am kind of embarrassed of my slowness.  I haven’t applied for full AMC leader yet because of it.  Cabot was my 48th.  Cheesy, I know.  Add in a cheesehead, and well you get the picture.  I was ALL ALONE.  I saw no one until some rangers drove by at about 3:30.  Luckily I stopped to take a picture because I left my poles at the trailhead and they gave them back to me.  I liked it.  It is really nice except for that 8-4 gate thing.  It was a great trip.   So there is my story of my 48th.  Nothing special.  Just a fun trip, goofy selfies.  But that is not the most special hike.  Not by a long shot.  Was it Jefferson, Lafayette, or even my first, Flume?  Nope.  It was Adams.  Let me explain.

This was my third ascent trying to summit Adams.  The first was an Adams/Madison attempt (well it was a 3 day Presi, damn World’s Worst Weather).  The clouds made me choose Madison when the skies cleared.  The second was a trip with a friend who could not continue just shy of the summit.  I was only about .25 from the summit, and my friend urged me to go anyway.  You do not leave friends behind, so we headed back.  I wanted to do it after Katadhin, but I ticked off Thoreau and was in a boot for 6 weeks.  It is not conducive to hiking.  My final actual attempt was in June 2015.  It was an emotional time. I was doubting my ability to do anything right.  I was a mess.  My life was a mess.  I really needed something to make me feel strong.  Even if only for a moment.  

I choose Airline.  It is hard, and steep, but the views are so worth the effort.  Apparently, there is a knife edge.  Never noticed it.  I only paid attention to God’s work all around me.  It was a bit harder than I remember, but I like it more than the ascent from Valley Way.  Aside from slowness, i also suffer from some digestive issues when ascending.  If I were in a fraternity, I would be the most popular because I can belch the alphabet.  I have scared friends who thought it was a bear.  Nope, just a guttural belch.  So I belched my way from the beginning of treeline to Gulfside.  Yeah, that last part to the summit, again, harder than I remembered.  And the Wolf Spiders.  My God, the Wolf Spiders.  Some low music, and determination, and it was done.   On try 3.  Adams.  The second highest of the 48.

I had just missed a friend, darn skirt repair.  Yes, I had to do a little sewing with a view.  I met some cool guys who helped me with a picture, then I took it all in.  It was, in fact, a perfect Presi day.  I could have used some wind as I was photobombed by several black flies.  I had to leave the joy of the summit.  I decided to go down Lowes Path.  A good decision as it is much nicer than Airline.  I headed down Gulfside, stopped by the hut, and headed home.  As I headed to the lot, it hit.  I did Adams.  I DID ADAMS.  A little dancing, maybe some singing. And then it hit me like a freight train.  That emotion only a hard hike creates.  A collection of feelings that only someone who allows their spirit to be open to the mountains can experience.  No matter what life at sea level throws you, it cannot erase that mountain emotion.  I could not help crying as I walked back to my car.  This trip was more special than I could ever imagine.  I can honestly say that it was much better than 47 or even 48.  Nothing can replace that feeling or those emotions.  Even the Semi Pemi falls far short of this experience.  I finally conquered Adams. It seems small, but I did it.

I am doing a presentation on hiking the 48 at the Trail Dames Summit.  Trail Dames is a great organization that helps empower all women to find meaning in the woods.  Because of them, I did my first backpack which made some of my trips possible.  I also found out that hiking is more than just a walk in the woods.  It is an door.  A door to a world where you can think clearly and feel true victory.  A door for you to test your limits and find out you are much stronger than you think.  A door that allows you to take chances but know when to quit.  A door to say you deserve this.  A door to give yourself a break.  I may be slow, but it is not about book time, FKT, or even sunset time.  It is me time.  A chance for me to grow and heal.  I have a lot of growing and healing to do.  And I am going to give myself time to do it.  However long it takes.